Monday, December 24, 2007

just a word of warning

i know blogs are supposed to be a means of expressing one's thoughts...

but don't cross the line...

i post this to you, and you know who you are...

dont assume or even say things you are never sure of... if you think you're right, think again, you're wrong...how do i know? ask the other person...one of which you spoke of....clear your clouded and fantasizing head...

choose: either you retract all the lies that you posted, or let yourself be humiliated.

its my business...and you know why.


Wednesday, October 31, 2007

about my girlfriend and the coming semester...

I love my girlfriend.

I just can’t believe myself that after everything that I have to go through for this, she’s here with me, and she’s worth everything that I went through.

But come to think of it, why would I have to put myself into this, according to some, “mess”? Wouldn’t it be nice for me to stay single?

Simple, I do not think like them. This relationship that I am into right now is not a mess, and I chose, and still am choosing, to be in it and be with her.

There may have been times that we had our petty quarrels, misunderstandings and cold moments; but what matters and counts are those moments that we spend to make it up.

We may not know what the future may bring us, but this we’re sure…we’ll be there for each other, no matter what.

Baby, I love you so much!

==========

This semestral break, though short, had been fruitful (I guess). Next week, classes officially open for the second semester. And this semester, I believe would be a lot more challenging for my part.

I really wish to finish my studies by October next year (the latest), and proceed to job-hunting immediately for experience. I plan to take my masterals for my course and proceed to teaching, my second dream, aside from….some knows what. But then, past is past; and I’m over with what has transpired then, and I don’t want to get back anymore.

Going back (harhar), having 15 units (and 8 units more, I hope), will be challenging, plus the fact that I will be reviewing as well for the comprehensive exam in the latter part of this semester. Aside from that, I will be both helping out with my mom and girlfriend in their different academic requirements throughout this semester (my mom with her academic requirements at CEFAM, while my girlfriend’s minor subjects at San Beda…I can’t actually help her with her majors, thoughL).

Some asked me, “Can you keep up?”

I say, “I’m not sure, but there’s no harm in trying, right?”

Besides, I believe that I have slacked (not the exact term) enough; it’s time for me to be fully focused on the things that I need to do.

I’m gonna need every help that I can get… wahahahaha!

==========

Sunday, October 07, 2007

missing my girlfriend, the final exams, and the past week's events...

Being away from your loved ones is a hard thing. I believe that. A short experience of that came when I had my retreat last Wednesday. Since its three days, I would not be able to communicate to anyone back at home for three days.

Yes, indeed, I missed my family. That’s given. But that one who I really missed was my girlfriend. I remember that I called her before our retreat started and said that I would not be able to communicate with her for the rest of the retreat. I was really relieved when I heard her say that she understands. She told me that she’ll be praying for me, and told me to enjoy the retreat.

Honestly, I was thinking about her the whole retreat. Since the retreat module was fitted to our batch, some of its contents centered on relationships, especially on the boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. With those, I began to think of the many experiences that I had with her; from the moment I started to court her, until now. I asked myself a lot of questions, and even subjected myself to criticism on how I handled my relationship with her. I kept these questions and asked it to her when I came back. Relief and intense happiness was the feeling that I felt when she assured me that though things do not go our way, I still got her.

I have to admit, since this is my first relationship, it was hard at first, due to some problems that we have to encounter. But the burden is not only carried by one; but by both of us. It makes things lighter for us. We quarrel at times; but we try to settle everything immediately. We are trying to help each other out. Corny as it may seem, I do not let the day pass until I let her know and feel that I love her so much.

We will be celebrating our 5th month together sometime soon. It’s still fresh and new, I know. But strong and long-lasting relationships start from scratch, right? We’re trying to make our relationship work; and we can see that it is working.

We may not have the perfect relationship, but we believe that it’s the right one.

For my girlfriend: I love you so much, and I will always be, not only here, but with you.

----

This week will be Final Examinations Week for most of us. For me and my girlfriend, we have this as our “hell week”. Weeks before, even until the present, we are trying to start studying and we’re actually progressing (haha!)

I’ll be having my exams only from Tuesday to Thursday, since tomorrow’s our review day and Friday’s a holiday. Good thing that I don’t have exams scheduled on Friday.

Right now, I need to focus. Study. Understand. And I guess this also goes to everyone who will be having their exams this week.

May I quote: “We study not for the grades, but for life”. Take your studies seriously, or the future won’t be serious with you.

---

These past few days, I had been quite busy and I can just imagine how the last week of the semester would turn out to be. Finals week is coming, and its coming real fast. But a little time given to self erases that tendency to freak out and lose control, right? And that is just what I am doing right now.

For the past weeks after two of my professors arrived, we have been constantly jamming our heads with the lessons needed to be finished by final examinations. I just had my finals in Philosophical Latin last Tuesday, and I have a 1.75 already as my final grade. Since I don’t have much time at home to do my stuffs, I usually do them at school.

Then came Wednesday. Though my batch is going to a retreat in the afternoon, we still had to attend class. So, I managed to come to 4 hours of class, from 8:30-12:30 in the morning, 2 hours for Theodicy and the rest of the two for Modern Philosophy; though somehow at the back of my head, I feel like I already want to go away and take some time off from stuffs.

We left the school at around 2:30 in the afternoon, bound for Tagaytay (Don Bosco Batulao). However, after all were inside the bus, Fr. Noel announced to us that instead of Tagaytay, we would go to Lucban at the Kamay ni Hesus Pilgrimage Site for our retreat. It was a breather for most of us, since it’s a new place for us (we had our batch retreat in Batulao last year). Details of the retreat would come later; but for now, all I can say is that I’m an emotional person, and I kept on crying most of the time in our retreat.

Friday came, and the retreat that was supposed to have ended at around 1, ended at some minutes after 3 in the afternoon. We left Lucban at around 4 and arrived back at school nearing 7 in the evening, thanks (sarcastically) to the slow movement of traffic along the way. Not even 10 minutes at school, I decided to go home, hoping I would catch up with my girlfriend whose having a class until 8:30 in the evening (supposedly). But she texted me and said that they’ll end their class an hour earlier. I said, Damn! I won’t be in time. I just asked her what she wants me to bring to her, and at some minutes before 9, after being soaked in the rain and held up in slow traffic again, I arrived at their house. An hour later, tired and sleepy, I went home.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

:)

A few months back, on this day (the 19th), I formally thought of myself as no longer single. And I finished acting like one.

I am no longer single, and I chose to be. And until today, I am living in that decision. I know she still chooses it too.

Yes, she is my first girlfriend. Many tell me that I am becoming too idealistic with regards to my present relationship (since it’s my first). I don’t know, maybe I do. Some still tell me that I am giving too much. Maybe I am, but I don’t regret it.

I always tell her that I do not have any regrets that she was the one I chose to be with. We may have our differences, but that’s alright. What’s more important right now for me, I believe, is that we understand each other, we are there for each other, and we love each other as such as we can and do.

I am fully committed to her and to this relationship that I have. There may have been times that I fell short of the things that I should have done, but I will try to be the best that I can be.

I chose not to be the perfect one for her, but I am trying to be the right one. And I think, that is what she wants more.

For my girlfriend: I love you, and I will always be here for you and with you, no matter what.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

a moment of comic thinking

last friday, while we were waiting for our turn for our oral exams in rational psychology, some of my classmates and i shared a little chat about ideas we brought up in our study. i would like to share one here.

my classmate asked: "what if God thinks and acts like a human being?"
one answered: "if that is so, how would he react when one enters heaven?"

here comes the scenario...we believe that when one passes from this life to the other (that is, when we are already in front of the ultimate good, who is GOD), one will never be able to resist Him. the only thing that one can do is but surrender to the ultimate goodness that is God.

placing a comic picture of heaven, with the gates of heaven in front of someone going to it, we pictured out what that person may be saying:

"yes! i am in heaven now! i am so happy! i will be with God! i will never ask for anything else!"

however, on the other side of the gate, God (placing that God thinks and acts like us) thinks:

"will I be happy when he comes here?"
----
we meant not to degrade or cause anything negative to the idea, as well as the image of God. however, i assume that one (as i did), can reflect on this scenario.

at the end of this blog...i would like to ask: "what are we doing in this life that would please God?"


Sunday, September 09, 2007

OK…We believe it’s time

For these past months, I was trying to discern whether or not to do something that I thought could somehow be left undone. However, I was wrong. It is really right to say that the truth will reveal itself in time. Still, it is right to say that the truth will set us free.

Looking into the past, why was I thinking like that? Why am I still trying to think about saying the truth? Can you blame me for not trusting the people I used to trust? Can you blame me for not saying the truth?

But, looking into myself, what was it that I was thinking about? What did I fear? Who? Was I anxious or depressed at the fact that I feared rejection and criticism? I was weighing the scales…and at some point in time, I had the wrong measurement.

But now, before the truth is tainted with lies, here it goes…

I am in love, and the person that I am in love with is now with me. In short, she’s my girlfriend now. Who, you say? Would there be anyone else?

At this point, let me explain myself, though I need not to…

The reason why I decided to forego the immediacy of telling people of this truth is not only for me; but also for her. We were both going through a lot of things lately, and we are trying to avoid anything that would make matters worse. I admit, being here was not easy, but even if it’s hard, it was all worth it. If people would judge us on this, let it be. But I believe that for the both of us, as well as for the rest of the minority who understands the whole picture…I did the right thing.

If the truth, whether the whole or in part, needs to be known, let us know…we’ll fill you in. Nobody will ever give you what you ask in this…no one…except us.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

What the?!

Just last Tuesday, my father texted me (since I’m in Canlubang) about them receiving a mail from the school. They received my grades from last semester. I just don’t know how or why they always get my grades before me, but no matter…I’m just happy that they’re getting to see what I’m trying to do to make myself better…in school.

I just noticed…from my former school…I never received flat 1’s for a grade…I can remember that I had 1.25 for P.E. (Karatedo) in my first year 2nd semester and second year 2nd semester. But here, in Don Bosco, I never thought I’ll even have one of that. First semester last year, I got 1, and for the following semester, I had 2.

Anyway, here’s what my parents received. I’m satisfied with this…and still, I’ll have to make myself better, right?

DON BOSCO COLLEGE

Final Grades: 2nd Term, 2006-2007

STUDENT ID:

0607001

NAME:

Afable, Kristoffer B.

COURSE:

AB-Philo

YEAR:

4th Year

Subject Code

Subject Title

Units

Grade

Fil 002

Panitikang Filipino

3

1.75

HPL 102

Scholasticism of St. Thomas Aquinas ( History of Medieval Philosophy)

3

1.00

HPL 109

History of Contemporary Philosophy

3

1.00

LTN 122

Church Latin II

2

2.00

Phl 105

Philosophy of Science and Technology (Cosmology)

3

1.50

Phl 133

Seminar: Political Philosophy

3

1.50

RLT 008

Marriage and Family Life

3

1.75

Average (GPA)

1.48

Monday, August 27, 2007

Lost and Time

I lost them…

People…I mean.

They’re not just ordinary people, but they’re my friends.

I am not sure why or how, but knowing this won’t make them come back.

Maybe, that is just what it must be

They can live their lives without me, maybe its time for me to do the same…

Farewell…

Time…

Everything will reveal itself in time…I’m sure of that.

Friday, August 24, 2007

assorted stuffs...

Being Busy…

Over the past weeks, I have been into different events and happenings, either here in school (where I’m writing this blogpost) and even back at home. But looking at things, I feel that I am much more active, but on the expense of being drained, here in school.

Seen either positively or negatively, I am still working as the VP-Internal for the College Department Student Council. Though I confess that I am not the same person working the past year, I still do my duties and responsibilities whenever I have the chance to. Also, I give time and adjust my schedules for such. I am not such when the next election would be, but I am sure I will be full of mixed feelings when that time comes.

One of the reasons why the SC Elections is still held up is because we are still revising the SC Constitution for the College Dept. Although there had already been an existing constitution before, it needs to be revised and reorganized to fit into the environment given here at school. Also, I am working on a graphic representation of the chain of authority for the SC, from the main line Council down to the particulars. Though this may be finished in such a short time, the presence of my academics (as well as with others’ schedules…I am not the only one working on it, k?), we are still unable to complete this job. But, somehow, we take pride in the fact that we’re moving.

Although I relieved myself of my responsibilities from the youth ministry back home, as well as my membership for the Singles group I have in Cubao, I still have some work back at home. You see, I am helping my mom in her homeworks and projects in her special classes in Ateneo (she decided to take a special course there). That is the reason why I make all my requirements, both for SC and academic, at school. That is sometimes why I feel, together with my 19 units here at school, I still have 15 more…hahaha! But I feel good about it…being busy rather than being lax. At least I know what my actions lead to.

Just last week, August 15-16 to be exact, the school hosted the 5th Don Bosco Schools’ Student Leaders’ Assembly. We in the Student Council were tasked to organize the event, and sure it was tough. We were making ourselves really busy for the event and when the day came, there were a lot of last-minute changes that brought us into near panic. Among them was the number of participants, which from the original 300+, came to only 250 something; due to the inability of DB-Mandaluyong to come, primarily because of the typhoon. We were on the verge of giving up when the other schools showed up. The events went on smoothly, despite the heavy rains which crippled some of our plans. At the end of the first day’s activity, I was already drained, but still there are a lot of things to do…and I, as well as the rest of the college organizers, were awoke in the full two days of the event. Talk about having big eyebags!

With all of these that happened, and with all of the things coming my way, it was just a blessing that classes were suspended last Friday as well, and Monday was declared a holiday. I needed a break..and was given it. Whew!


Sometimes…I Just Can’t Understand


I actually admire people who subject their decisions into consideration…however, being irresolute is too much!

Have you ever encountered someone who is like this? I do. And it isn’t easy. Sometimes, you’re being dragged into it.

But, come to think of it, isn’t it hard to let go of something special, even if it hurts a lot?

Just asking.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Thoughts from Classes

Spirituality 101

In one of my classes in Theodicy, with regards to God’s Immensity, one of the metaphysical perfections God has, a common mistake was corrected with regards to some mistakes done in invocation to prayer. Honestly, even I am sometimes a prey for this mistake.

It is wrong to say that: “Let us put ourselves in the presence of the Lord”….

Why?

Why still ask for the presence of the Lord if He is already present? Let us remember, including myself, that God is so immense, that He contains everything; but is not contained in anything. He is ever-present in His creatures, whether size or location is being talked about.

Therefore, let us then say:”Let us always remember that we are in the Most Loving Presence of the Lord”…

Immutability vs. Creation and Incarnation

This is one, I am afraid of those questions in Theodicy that I, as well shared by my classmates, have a really hard time answering. Okay, we already answered the relation and question of the Immutability of God with regards to Creation. But how about Incarnation?

Before going to that, though, what is Immutability? It is a metaphysical perfection that belongs to God which radically denies any change whatsoever. And since God is immutable, He is only pure Actuality, without any potentiality, or change, whatsoever.

What was the answer with regards to Immutability vs. Creation? Let me take note that it was not I who gave the answer, nor even an idea leading towards the answer during our class last Monday. The answer goes somehow like this: God did not change, but the change is only attributed to Him by the human intellect. That is only extrinsic change. It did not affect His being, thus, he did not change altogether.

But the question now is, how about the mystery of the Incarnation? In this matter, God already had a change of being, from God to man, as justified by: “And the Word became flesh…”

I’ll post the answer when I have the chance to know…

Name, Claim, Tame, Aim Feelings

The thought is simple: Name your feelings, claim what you named…tame it, and aim it at something useful…

Simply said…really hard to do.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Not having the perfect one, but the right one…

“I can not have anything that’s perfect, that I know…

But that doesn’t deprive me of having the right one”


Though man has different perceptions what they conceive as “perfect”, the fulfillment of the word is never met. We thus only conceive of things that are beyond one’s satisfaction as perfect. In whatever phase or place we look into, there’s nothing perfect that is within our reach, well, except one.


All this time of my conscious life, I looked mostly on real things. I tried to be optimistic most of the time but it bites; and hurts a lot. I tried to be pessimistic at one point, yet it doesn’t fit me for the fact that there are still good things that happen in my life; even I cannot contest that. Thus, I places myself in the middle, not too much of either extremes. I am looking at the real deal now.


My premise at the beginning is somehow my realization over some things that transpired or came in my life, such as that of life, family, friends, vocation, affiliation, relationship and so much more.


I know…

I don’t have the perfect life, but what I am living right now is meant for me, thus I feel that somehow, this is the right life for me as a whole.

I don’t have the perfect family or relatives, but I have, as I believe, the right one…

I don’t have the perfect set of friends, but they are the right ones for me. Without them, would I be this way?

I don’t have the perfect calling. I fell and failed. But my present vocation seems to be the right one for me.

I don’t have the perfect membership in any group, some of them I turned down and left. But to those that I stayed into, I believe are the right ones for me.

I don’t have the perfect relationship; we still have our ups and downs. But that doesn’t deprive us of knowing and believing that what we have is the right one. I don’t have the perfect woman to love, but I sure have the right one.


Knowing these, and so much more about deprivation of perfection and achievement of just the right one, helped me to realize so much. These right ones that I have, for me, are somehow that I can call “perfect” in my own world.
It may not fulfill its real thought, but right and “perfect” nonetheless…

Friday, July 27, 2007

scrambles

Epilogue of Dark Days

I decided to stop. Why? Personal reasons, maybe…

I just thought that it’s not healthy anymore what is happening (either real or perceived as such) due to actions and reactions with whatever my blogposts and others have caused either me or them. Thanks to a classmate of mine here in my school, who is an avid reader of my blog, I came to my senses of the effects that some of my blogs are causing.

I dare not judge other people’s blogs for this time. Actually, I have not and I decided that I will not. If my blogposts have created ill-feelings and ill-treatment to some or many, I apologize. I, and not this blog, am at fault. Honestly, some of these posted are negative (as some of the readers can already testify), and I am guilty as charged. This is an effect brought about my negativity coming from the subject of this blog, who is me. I had enough of negativity flowing in me, and sadly, sharing it with others.

This is not an act of cowardice. Nor this can be seen as an act of surrendering. What am I supposed to be coward of? What am I suppose to surrender to? I just felt, as well as decided, that this must stop. But that doesn’t guarantee, that everything will be in its usual place…it can never be.

With this, I end with…PEACE.

---

Being Away

I had been studying here in Don Bosco College-Canlubang for almost a year and a half now, and sadly, I will not able to graduate this coming school year. Having the details for that is not the subject of this blog, so let me just have it in another time.

Going back, there are times that I had been asking myself: “Why am I still like this? Why am I still sulking over the fact that I am far away from home?” Most of the people who know me also know that I had left home for the seminary after I graduated from elementary, and stayed there until the middle of the semester of my 7th year (or third year college) in the formation. After that, I decided to study here in Laguna, when I had the opportunity to continue my studies.

I know…being away sucks. Though I had the hang of not being at home most of the time, this time is a lot different from before. Honestly, in the past, I did not have the chance to be close to my family. Now, it’s different. How much have I lost! And to think that it is the only concern I had, is wrong. I just realized lately that I had not known myself wholly as well! Too bad…

And also, I am sad over the fact that each and every time I have to leave for school; I leave someone special…behind. That is why I always look forward to coming home at the end of the school week…

Being away is hard…but I can still struggle and cope with it…I hope you do too.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Isang Pagkilala sa Sarili (Tagalog naman!)

Minsan, nakakatuwa na isipin na may mga pagkakataon na kung saan naipapagmalaki natin sa ating mga sarili na ang may kaalaman tungkol sa ating mga sarili ay ang ating mga sarili din. Madalas mangyari sa akin iyon. Ngunit, di lingid sa akin, nagiging sanhi din ito ng hindi pagkakakintindihan at sa kalaunan…tila darating tayo sa konklusyon na mali pala ang ating ipinagmamalaki.

Sa madami at tila sunod-sunod na pagkakataon na dumating iyon sa aking buhay, mga tanong ang tumatanim sa aking isipan. Nakakatuwa, ang mga tanong na nasa aking isipan ay tumugma sa mga tanong na nakasaad bilang gabay sa paggawa ng pagsalamin sa sariling ito.

Una, ang tanong na ukol sa mga pinahahalagahan. Ano nga ba ang mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko? Ano ang mga bagay na isinasaalang-alang ko? Sa unang tingin, sobrang napakarami ng mga ito. Pinahahalagahan ko ang aking sarili, ang aking pamilya, ang kalayaan, dignidad, kapayapaan ng sarili, at kahit ang aking pakikibilang. Pinapahalagahan ko rin ang opinyon ng ibang tao, ngunit sa lebel lamang ng pananalamin sa aking sarili. Pinapahalagahan ko rin ang katotohanan, responsibilidad, pagtulong at komitment. Pinahahalagahan ko ang mga maliliit na bagay na bumubuo sa aking sarili, maging ito man ay panloob o panlabas lamang. Sa aking paniniwala, ang mga pinahahalagahan kong ito ay isa sa mga sangay kung saan nakikita ko at nakikilala ko ang aking sarili. Sabi nga ng iba: “Sabihin mo sa akin kung sino ang iyong mga kaibigan, at sasasbihin ko sa iyo kung sino ka”. Sa analohiyang ito, ang mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko ay tila mga kaibigan na maaring magsalamin sa akin upang makita ko ang aking pagkatao at pagka-tao sa kabuuan.

Ano ang aking mga pinaniniwalaan? Sa pagtagal at pag-usad ng panahon, ang aking mga mababaw na paniniwala ay unti-unting nawala sa aking isipan, ngunit ang mga malalalim at mahahalagang paniniwala ay nanatili. Naniniwala ako na mayroong Diyos, na bagamat iba-iba ang katawagan, iisa pa rin. Naniniwala ako sa pag-ibig, na pinagmumulan ng kabutihan at nagpapalabas sa tunay na kulay ng isang tao. Naniniwala ako sa karapatan ng tao na maging malaya at matuto na gamitin ang isip, hindi lamang upang maabot at katotohanan, ngunit upang malaman din ang nilalaman ng isipan. Nainiwala ako sa kapatawaran ng kasalanan at pagkukulang, maging ito man ay sa sarili, o sa iba, o maaari rin naman sa DIyos. Naniniwala ako sa katotohan, na kahit ito man ay bunga ng iba’t-ibang paraan ng pagtuklas at pagkakaalam, ay iisa pa rin.

Ano- ano ang aking mga kailangan? Isa sa mga kinakailangan ko ay oras para sa aking sarili at sa mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko. Nakakalungkot isipin, hindi ko ito nagagawa ng madalas. Kailangan ko rin ng pang-unawa sa minsang pagiging iba ng aking isipan at pagintindi ukol sa mga bagay-bagay na nangyayari sa aking kapaligiran. Kailangan ko ng mga tao na makikinig at makakintindi ng aking mga iniisip at nadarama. Kung sa pansarili naman ang pag-uusapan, kailangan ko ng kapayapaan ng isip, lalong matinding paniniwala sa kakayanan ko, at paniniwala sa ibang tao. Alam ko na matibay na ang aking paniniwala sa Diyos, ngunit kung hindi man lubos, nangangailangan pa rin ako ng tibay at tatag ng pananampalataya sa kanya. Minsan kasi, nararamdaman ko na tila umaalpas ang aking kamay sa kanyang pagkakahawak.

Sa lahat ng aking nabanggit, huli kong tanong sa sarili ko sa pagkakataong ito: Nasaan na nga ba ako? Sino na nga ba ako?

Ako ay isang nilalang, isang tao na patuloy na naglalakas sa napakahabang landasin ng buhay, na sa bawat liko ay nag-iisip kung saan ba ako nababagay na magpatuloy. Kakatuwa, minsan rin ay naitatanong ko sa sarili kung bakit ko nga ba napili ang daang dinaanan ko. Ngunit, kung ano man ang maihahandog sa akin ng aking pinili, alam ko na ito’y sa akin.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

For Two Meddling People…Who Just Won’t Stop

You…

Honestly, I don’t really think you understand the situation. Then, I ask: are you innocent, or just ignorant? I am certain you are not innocent. Worse…you might be just making yourself ignorant…much more like a fool.

I pity you for being judgmental. You take things as what you see and judge them using your insufficient reason. You interpret things that happen as though you have the right to do so. And worse, you are doing that on people…lol.

I live my life, and so is the rest of this world…even you. Live your own; I don’t need someone who doesn’t even know how to ask me what’s going on, and just go on thinking what he wants to think.

What’s happening doesn’t always show on the things you plainly sense about. Understand between the actions and life, as reading between the lines. There are things that must be left as it is, and prying just to know these things isn’t going to help either you or me. What would you gain then, if you would know what you want to know? Isn’t it you judged it even before it was made known to you? What’s the sense? And if you would know what needs to be known, would you believe it? I don’t think so. You’ve already judged it before you could have understood it.

You’re too rash in your actions. But, if that’s the way you want it to be, I won’t stop you. Just don’t blame me if you’re gonna lose sight of the road, and hit something with full force. I tell you, you won’t even have the chance to survive. You might as well be dead…

Sounds morbid? I may be exaggerating…but for you, it isn’t impossible. Watch your step; you might be stepping on the wrong ground. And that…just might be the last one.

And for You…

Isn’t it funny that the person I thought to be that someone I could feel close to in the past would be the complete opposite? I mean…you. You think you’re so smart? You think you could actually be everyone’s eye-candy?

What you did placed the wall between us…and what you did just ended to become the knife I’m holding right now. Guess where would I use it? You don’t need to…I’ll tell you: it’s for you. What you did isn’t an act of concern…Does your nature include being meddlesome?

Don’t ever cross me…you would regret that I might just run you through…if you still can.

Ei, just a thought…if you think these are just empty words…

YOU DON’T KNOW ME! SO…BACK OFF!

Trip

When my family and I, together with some of our former neighbors and friends from Muntinlupa went to Nasugbu, Batangas last weekend, I thought that it was already late for a splash down cool (and skin-darkening) waters before hitting back to school. But, just as my father calls it: “Huling Hirit sa Tag-init: PACPOB” (PACPOB stands for Poon, Afable, Castro, POBlete), it wasn’t that late, though.

I told myself that day that I would only swim during the afternoon or towards nighttime, but I just bit my tongue when we arrived there I and saw how enticing the place was. We left the house past 6 in the morning and arrived a little near 4 hours after. What I hoped to be a short stint at the pool turned into several hours of swimming at the beach, while somehow imagining that I’m hearing Sandwich’s “Sunburn” song (while hoping that I won’t be having that). lol.

With this family event that I had, let me share some moments where I had the chance to think and realize some facts that somehow escaped my mind this whole summer…

1) When I had the chance to talk with Ouie, my kid neighbor, I was somehow dumbfounded with the answer he gave me. I asked him, “Bakit mo ginagawa yan? (pertaining to the sand castle he was making along the seashore) He plainly answered, “Wala lang. Gusto ko eh.”

The thought: Sometimes, things just can’t be complicated; they can be seen as they are. When I started to criticize almost everything that comes into my known world, I tend to complicate what can be seen as just plain and simple. Actually, I miss those times when I can just answer plainly. Right now, honestly, I tend to go to even the littlest detail I know as such to answer even a simple question asked to me…But I can’t help it. Things are not plain and simple anymore in my world.

2) A large (and I mean it) group of students from MAPUA (EE,ECE et al) went to the same resort where we were, I can’t help but wonder how some people end up like what some had. Surprisingly, I bumped into an old classmate of mine way back in high school, who happens to be a graduating student in that school.

The thought: It’s really surprising to reminisce memories of the past with someone you share it with. And somehow disappointing that you haven’t got the chance to share your present with that same person you shared your past with. But hey, this is a big world…I must go out and explore…

Humbling, simple, happy…

Monday, June 18, 2007

Ignorance and Innocence

There is a fine line, I believe, with these two words; which is somehow mistaken to be one as the other and vice versa. As I see it, the difference lies in the level of knowledge of something; that is, the degree of knowledge of a certain object subjected to the consciousness. Ignorance, I believe, is partial knowledge of something (but doesn’t deny the fact that one knows something about that something, but not of it as a whole). On the other hand, ignorance is total deficiency of knowledge about a certain object.

To further illustrate the difference: an educated man from the province visited the city. While waiting for someone who would show him around, he decided to buy a drink from a ‘palamig’ stand across the street. Knowing that he is already so thirsty and tired, he immediately crossed the street but was halted by a policeman. The ‘promdi’ (man from the province) asked for his violation, and the policeman bluntly answered him with ‘jaywalking’. Is this case a case of ignorance or innocence?

We cannot deny the fact that the term innocence is best described in the likes of infants and kids, or at some cases, with those who are deprived of sanity. But would that deprive a sane man of innocence as well? If so, then, those who are proclaimed ‘innocent’ at courts are thus otherwise? Furthermore, then, that means every man who is in good mentality are ‘at fault’ all the time?

What’s my point in this blog, then? Actually, this is just a reflection I had when I had the chance to know more about the metropolis. I can say that I am ignorant…yes, ignorant of the places where I have been into these past few days. I partially know these places; therefore I cannot say that I am innocent about these places where I have been into.

But hey! It’s a great thing I finally knew about those stuff!

Sunday, June 03, 2007

School Stuff

The Coming Semester…

I just enrolled myself for this coming semester in my school back in Canlubang, and somehow sadly, I only have 19 units for this coming semester. I just hope I can add more to these when we have the chance, coz I really wanna finish this school year.

But clearly, I can say that this semester will be interesting. Why? Check my schedule:

Time

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

7:30 am

PHL 111

8:30

PHL 107

PHL 107

PHL 106

9:30

PHL 109

PHL 109

10:30

HPL 103

LTN 121

PHL 106

HPL 103

11:30

12:30 pm

1:30

LTN 131

2:30

3:30

4:30

HPL 103: History of Western Philosophy II (Modern Philosophy)

LTN 121: Church Latin 1

LTN 131: Philosophical Latin 1

PHL 106: Rational Psychology

PHL 107: Philosophy of Religion

PHL 109: Applied Ethics

PHL 111: Filipino Philosophy


===

the school year is about to begin soon, after a week or two, and along with it, are the usual conditions/situations that I believe some of us would fall into:

1) the usual ramblings about summer escapades, and with it, those ones that were unable to accomplish

2) the complaints of having sunburns and other sickness, which can be used as alibis for not attending the first day or week of class

3) the depression knowing the summer is over and the period of plunging one’s head back to the books have started anew (this time, is much worse!)

4) and lots more…

these maybe the negative ones, but we cannot deny the fact that there are also positive happenings that transpired during the summer vacation, right?

so, for those who still have the rest of the vacation in their sleeves, take pleasure in it…once gone, you’ll regret you wasted it (if you really did).