sharing for the day (january 28, 2009)

I apologize for not being able to post my sharing for quite some time, I was back home during the weekend, and missed a few days of the novena.

First of all, we are so fortunate to have with us for the next couple of days the Provincial Superior of the Salesians of Don Bosco, Rev. Fr. Eli Cruz, SDB.

In his sharing this morning, after the wreath-laying ceremony, he spoke of many things…things that were timeless, new, or even funny. At this point, allow me to share some bits and pieces of his talk, as well as my personal insights for the day.

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“To know the person, we must go back and see where he/she came from to know and understand the person in context”

To further illustrate this thought, Fr. Eli presented the certain words and from which they came from, like the words “hapunan”, “barkada”, and more. Why was it called hapunan? Because during the early times (when there was still no electricity, and light in the evening comes from the moon, stars and lamps), dinner happens in the late afternoon. Why is it called barkada? Because it came from the word “Banca” or boat, where it shows that barkadas are definitely “in the same boat”.

Fr. Eli began his talk with this to further instill to us that where we come from really matters, much like Don Bosco, whose roots and background gave rise to such a marvelous model, father and saint. Being Bosconians ourselves, we must always be reminded that we live and are taught to be good Christians and caring people. Fr. Eli further commented that he is inspired and touched with people, especially with Bosconians, who are strong in their resolve of following Christ, in one or many ways.

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“The three things that Bosconians love: the Blessed Sacrament, our Holy Mother Mary, and the Pope.”

Fr. Eli mentioned this in line for his main topic in his sharing for this day, which is Don Bosco’s love for the Eucharist. Besides Mama Mary and the Pope, it is worthwhile to remember that Bosconians love the Holy Eucharist.

He then related a story of how Christians in Vietnam, when it was still under the complete dominion of Communism, were able to receive communion; in spite of fear of being severely punished for the faith. He said that during that time, the priest would place the host in bars of soap, and those who know it, comes and receives them.

During this part of his sharing, I remembered that Ms. Bot Bombase, our Student Affairs In-charge for the College Department, gave me a coin with the image of Don Bosco. In its back, there inscribed the following words, and I share the same prayer: “O Saint John Bosco, teach us to love Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament”.

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“…It all depends on whose hands it is in…”

Fr. Eli gave a wonderful analogy for this part of the talk, with which I quote:

“In my hands, a basketball is worth 800 pesos…In the hands of Michael Jordan, a basketball is worth 800,000,000 pesos…it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a stick would be nothing but a stick…In the hands of Moses, a stick divided the sea, and helped saved people from slavery and oppression… it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a slingshot would be nothing but a toy…in the hands of David, a slingshot helped to defeat Goliath… it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a bread would just be a bread…In the hands of Christ, a bread would feed thousands… it all depends on whose hands it is in…

In my hands, a nail would be used by a carpenter to make and fix things…In Christ’s hands (and feet as well, for this matter), a nail becomes a symbol of our salvation… it all depends on whose hands it is in…”

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“Who are you listening to?”

Again, Fr. Eli made a timely analogy with this part of his talk, with which again I quote:

Garfield… “I hate Mondays”

Gaara (of Naruto)…”I only love myself and I live only for myself…”

Winnie the Pooh…”It is so hard to be brave, especially if you are only a small animal”

The question is…who are you listening to?



With the many things that are thought and said in this present era of ours, we can’t help but be confused on what to do, what to hear, what to understand, and even what to believe. With this kind of situation that we’re in, what then should we do?

Psalm 118:8, which Fr. Eli mentioned in his talk, gives a clear answer to this: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to trust in men”…

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For the remaining days of the novena and the celebration for the feast day of Saint John Bosco, please join me in prayer that with the help of our model and founder, we may…

Understand the present with the help of the past…

Love and devote ourselves to the Blessed Sacrament…

Give ourselves to God’s hands to be guided and protected…

Listen and live as faithful, moral and loving Christians…moreover, Bosconians.



Saint John Bosco. Pray for us.

at the edge...

People I know come to me when they have problems, hoping that with me, they’ll find answers…or even ways to find it…

But I have no one to go to when I’m the one in need…

Some people think I’m strong…you’re wrong, I’m weak…much more, I’m dying

I’m rejected, forgotten, unwanted and taken for granted…

I’m doing everything I can to deserve even a little, but even that little is taken away from me…

No one understands me, or even what I’m going through…

I'm important to others when I am of any use...

Maybe I deserve this…

My mind’s giving up, I don’t know until when I can hold on…if I know where to

sharing for the day (january 23, 2009): 2nd day of the novena to St. John Bosco

“Taga bundok sya, Bundok Makiling. Dating estudyante dito, at dati ring nagtitinda sa canteen…
Ngayon, nandito pa rin sya, at na-promote: nakatambay na siya sa third floor…”

Those were just some descriptions that Bro. Jomar Castillo (a post novitiate brother and a classmate of mine) made to tell a little story, and impart some inspiring thought to the college students and the lay mission partners of Don Bosco College this afternoon, the second day of the novena to Saint John Bosco.

Bro. Jomar was talking about Kuya Elmer, our very industrious and simple technical assistant for the college department. He recounted his early years in this institution, on how he met Kuya Elmer, and on how he came to idolize him; being as simple and as unassuming as he is.
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He then made a simple recollection on how he struggled during his senior year in college, still here in Don Bosco, during the time that he was doing his thesis. At those trying times, he was consoled by his adviser, Ma’am Lyn Tamayo (our former college guidance counselor), who told him: “Kung saan mahirap, dun ka!”
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He then recounted some experiences of St. John Bosco wherein he encountered problems and hardships, like going to school far away from home when he was still a kid; and others like the things he had to deal with when he established the Oratory and the Society of Salesians of Don Bosco.
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What’s the connection between his three sharings?

“Fire-tried Gold”… is the theme for this year’s Foundation Week celebration, marking the 46th year of the presence of Don Bosco here in Canlubang.

Bro. Jomar stated that like the theme, Don Bosco, Kuya Elmer, and even he, were made stronger by continuous hardships. Truly, hardships and problems are a constant companion of anyone…it’s inevitable. However, when we come to face these hardships, we grow stronger…and wiser in the process.

There may be a lot of trials, problems and hardships that all of us are experiencing. But with the courage to face these can make us all the more prepared for all that would still happen in our lives. Could it be problems at home work, school, or even with everything in life itself…“don’t falter, stand up, count on our Lord’s guidance and help, and choose to win over whatever life would throw at us to bring us down.”

St. John Bosco…pray for us.

quote for the day (january 22,2009)

when i joined the rest of the college department for the novena to st. john bosco just this afternoon, fr. mon borja, sdb (our administrator) gave us a little joke, but with a great deal of sense and wisdom:

"ano ang isang bagay na kahit anong hilod o kahit anong ligo, eh hindi man lang matanggal?...
...e di LIBAG!"

he then continued:

"alam nyo, pag nakikita ko si Don Bosco, para syang libag."

the college students inside the chapel burst into laughter, but fr. mon continued his talk, explaining:

"di ba, yung libag, laging nandyan sa katawan natin, much like Don Bosco. kahit anong gawin natin na tanggalin sa sistema natin si Don Bosco, o kaya ang pagiging Bosconian natin, hinding-hindi na ito mangyayari."

he asked at the end of his short talk:

"are we not glad to have Don Bosco in our lives?"

for me, i say...I AM PROUD TO BE BOSCONIAN, AND I AM PROUD TO HAVE DON BOSCO IN MY LIFE!

every once in a while, i need to clear up my mind...

Sometimes, I think that I should post intellectual or philosophical writings when I write; given the nature of my academic studies as of present. Other times, I would like to dwell on my emotions and just have my feelings poured through when I write (or type, in this manner).
Whatever the case may be, please allow me at this time to just type away whatever I feel I need to say.
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A few days has passed since the New Year started. The past year has generally been good to me; though I cannot doubt the fact that there were some things that happened that had never been good to me in any way.
There had been two times that my girlfriend asked for a break-up; one at August and another the following month. As I can recall, it was me who really caused it. But gladly, things went well…we’re still together. I sure learned a lot since then. But then again, I asked myself, “Does it have to happen for me to learn so much about what should be and what should not be in my relationship?”
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Before the year ended, I said goodbye to two friends who I really held dear to me. Deep inside me, I really tried to hold on to the fact that I have to fight for the friendship that we shared; no matter the distance between us, or even the time that passed. Then I realized, maybe it’s time for me to let go, and move on; just like what they did. That was never an easy decision for me to make, but I had to.
“Was it so wrong to look forward to promises made? Was it wrong for me to feel sad and disappointed when those promises were not brought to fruition?”
I’ve always said to people who come to me that “whatever relationship shared between people might be successful or a failure. Its success and failure would not be attributed or blamed to just one, but on all those who shared that relationship”. With that in mind, with the friends I’ve lost the past year, I am partly to be blamed. I concur.
“How many more should I let go?”
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I am slowly burning out. My studies are one thing, but really, what happens back home is taking so much from me. I have no problems with my parents; I really love and appreciate having them with me; supporting and encouraging me for all the things that I do and will do. Their positive attitude and outlook in life is what keeps me going on, especially in trying times that come my way. I have no problems with my elder siblings too, with my sister and brother responsibly doing their part to help around the house and being really dedicated to their respective work, I am only thankful. Also, I am deeply grateful with my older brother for being the one who supports me financially, week after week, as I go through the rest of my college stay. (My mom’s taking care of my board and lodging expenses, while my brother’s taking care of my allowance). Actually, my older brother and I are not exactly close to each other, and I can remember those times that we don’t even talk to each other when I come home from back where I studied before.
My pressing problem at present is our youngest. Somehow, I know that there’s a huge gap between us. Yes, there’s an 8-year gap in our age, and I rarely see him when I go home every week. With what I am hearing from the rest of the family, I can’t help but get irritated, sometimes get mad, with my youngest brother. Oftentimes, I end up reminding or scolding him, but then after that, I try to explain myself to him with why I acted like that. Yet, each time that happens, whatever he has been doing in the past grows more, in a negative way.
There are times that my parents scold me for treating my youngest brother harshly, if that is the real way to describe it. They say that I should understand that he’s going through that stage of discernment and exploration of self (in a psychological point-of-view). But what he’s doing, as I can it, is too much. If I am allowed to justify my actions, it is because I am more aware of the repercussions of his actions, and much more, because I am concerned with the welfare and dignity of my family.
I may be overreacting, but step in my shoes; you’ll see what I mean.
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Before the year ended, we were somehow scolded by our professor for not being able to live up to the challenge for the coming De Universa Comprehensive Examinations. Somehow, it dawned to me that he’s definitely right, maybe I’m not prepared. However, that’s my present predicament. There’s still time. I can do it. I can still do my best.
I believe that real failure and the real sense of not living up to the challenge comes when I give up.
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Maybe, with all of these said, I’ve cleared some space in my mind.
I can now continue what I need to do.

I can be autocritical at times…I’m aware, don’t worry

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
If it’s not worth doing right, it’s not worth doing at all.
If it can’t be done right, do something else you can do right instead.”

-Anonymous

I encountered this maxim from my mother’s Executive Digest way back the 1980’s, displayed in our ancestral home in Laguna. I believe it’s a lesson against mediocrity and the lax attitude of people, and that includes me.

I need not to dwell so much with this, it speaks for itself.
Whatever the interpretation I have of it can be different from others, from time to time, and depending on the circumstance.

This blog’s kind of short…
What should I do, go on with something that says what it really means right in front of my face?
I’d better do more things that I can do right, right?

Without the Sword’s Slash

“You don’t have to carry the burden by yourself
Let your friends take some of your pain, and the resolve that goes with it!
Did you ever think about how everyone around you felt while you tried to carry everything on your own?
I know someone who didn’t like to rely on others, just like you
In the end, he was weaker than everyone else!”

These lines were taken from the Bleach Movie 2: The Diamond Dust Rebellion. I can somehow relate to these lines spoken by Substitute Shinigami (Death God) Kurosaki Ichigo to 10th Squad Shinigami Captain Hitsugaya Toushirou, who seemed to have abandoned his squad to move through his personal agenda (watch the movie and you’ll see).

With that aside, I can be seen as both the person speaking those lines and the person spoken to with it. There are times when I want to tell people, especially those close to me, to share with me their pains, sufferings or anything negative; as well as anything contrary to it. However, that being something wanted remains at it is, and never reached fruition. I must also consider the fact that letting the person do as he/she wishes is the best thing to do in certain situations.

I have friends, but I can say that they (or even me, honestly) changed. Some went through their lives…on a different pace, on a different path…a path where I am not a part of. I can say that I did the same. Sometimes I realize that the best for me is to think about people who had been parts of my past remain as such, and that was a lesson taught to me by someone.

But for those who are still there (either physically or in thought), especially those who I still have the chance to talk to, listen to, and be with, I try my best to let them know that I am still here; whatever the circumstances may be. Moreover, I let them know that I am not only here, but that they can always come to me whenever they want to, or whatever they wish to let me be a part of. I am a barkada to some, an acquaintance to others, and an older brother to many.

For those times that I was somehow the one spoken to with those li`nes, I can remember that I felt that I am better off without others; that I can do everything on my own. I thought I can face my own problems, deal with my own downfalls and sufferings and just be happy by myself whenever something good comes along. I was wrong, and I realized it when I met my girlfriend. I can remember sometime in the past when she told me that I was strong in a world where only I live; and when I am already out of it, I am the weakest person. Then I realized that though there may be times that people may seem to be more of a burden than a help to me, them being there could mean so much after all.

With all of these said, I realized that I can never be the person that I am now without those people that I had shared my life with, and had shared their lives with me. Whatever the chances, places, people, times and even experiences that I was opened up to…made me the person I was, makes me the person that I am now, and will make me the person that I’ll be.

negativity

It has been months since I posted something in this blog. One or more reasons would never be made as an excuse on why it happened, period.

Just a few updates on what happened to me during my “digital/blog” absence…

Since my last post (August), I had encountered one hurdle after another, and one particular hurdle that I am had was the moment my girlfriend broke up with me. Yah, we’re back to each other as of the moment, but that doesn’t erase the fact that it happened. Moreover, it left us both with wounds to heal, as well as lessons to learn.

Sometimes, I just can’t understand myself. Why do I still have to suffer a lot for me to learn? Why do I have to experience being slammed in the face with the unbridled truth just to realize that I am wrong? Why can’t I accept things at the very moment they’re given to me? With the attitude that I have right now, I have doubts if I am worthy of what is given me…

I’ve made wrong choices and decisions in my life, and these not only affect me, but others as well. What I always resent with myself if that when these things happen, others suffer; if not with me, because of me. Maybe I am just being punished for everything that I did wrong, with myself and with others.

Whatever consequences I have to face because of my stupidity and ignorance, I have to face. Yah, even if I don’t want it. Maybe, I just don’t learn from what it seems like a “broken record”…

...

do what you're supposed to do,
don't just brag about it

and by the way...

the next time that i would not be given justice
is the last time...

you know what i mean

After the Storm…

From that misunderstanding that my girlfriend and I had, I was able to realize a lot of things:

1. There is still a lot to learn from one another. Though we are already a year and a couple of months together now, there is still a lot to learn. There are still a lot of misunderstandings to face, conflicts to solve, and differences to be aware of. I admit that I thought I already know my girlfriend fully, so much so that I most of the time try to predict what she’s thinking, and then end up wrong. With that, we end up having little quarrels, which then turn into bigger ones…which then deal more damage to our relationship.
2. There has to be room for understanding, especially coming from me. I am guilty of trying to rationalize anything and everything, so much so that I do not believe in anything happening having no reason at all. Sometimes, I think I just have to believe in her more, more than I used to. I also have to understand that both she and I have a lot of difference at this point in time, especially when academics is the topic. I have to understand that she needs more time now with everything’s she’s doing at school, even though that would mean that our time together would be sacrificed. If until now, I would not be able to understand and accept that, then maybe there is really something big and wrong about me.
3. There has to be more acceptances of circumstances, also especially coming from me. I have to accept the fact that we are not the same, and I have to deal with that difference. Why does it have to come to this that I came to realize that our relationship is more of dynamic (changing) than static (status quo)? That dynamicity of our relationship, if not steered well, may turn into something disastrous, for us (like what almost happened with us now). I need to understand, more than knowing, that the fact that we’re different and that our relationship’s changing, that I need to get out of my shell and be more accepting of everything that would come in our way. if I cannot do that, then there’s got to be something really wrong about me.
4. I have to quit being a wisecrack and over-acting in the circumstances where I am not needed to be as such. Just last night, after we had another quarrel, I asked myself “Why is it so hard for me to accept things as it is?” She told me the reasons why she was unable to connect or contact me last Wednesday, but I realized that it is me who found it so hard to just accept (then over-react) to what she said. It’s not that I did not believe her, but it’s just that I saw that there was a chance to do it, but it wasn’t done. She was looking at more important things, and this has to happen just for me to understand that. I feel sorry for myself. Much more, I am in constant asking for apology with my girlfriend.

Baby, I am really sorry.

By this moment, we’re now okay…We sure hope and pray it would always stay this way.

Being Proud, and Being Sorry

Just last Wednesday (July 23), my girlfriend was able to receive an award from her school. She ranked #1 Dean’s Lister in her batch and #5 in the whole school.

All that I can say is with that: I am so proud of her.

She told me how people from her school congratulated her and even cheered for her during the ceremonies. It was just too bad that I wasn’t there, nor I was able to greet her personally after that. She became too busy after the ceremonies that she was not able to have the time to tell me what happened. Her migraine towards the afternoon also came in the wrong time. This caused quite a big misunderstanding between us; big in the sense that we were not in good terms for more than two days. It was my fault actually, and I admit it.

Baby…I am sorry. I am really sorry.

After a Long Time

When was the last time that I had the chance to sit down by myself and think?

Why is it that when I am already relatively free from my academic responsibilities that I have the least time to stop and have some time to be aware of what’s happening around me, and moreover, within me?

Is it because that I am making myself available to others more than I give myself my availability?

Is it because that I am just being lazy, knowing that I have more time to give myself some slacking off?

Maybe I am just taking a rest. For quite some time, I am so concerned of others around me that I end up almost without any time for myself. I find it hard within me to give myself, or what I can do, to someone in need. Sometimes I end up asking, “is it because I had enough of the feeling of being rejected, that I wish not to be the subject inflicting or the object inflicted with it?” or “is it just because I choose to do it, since I do not have much to do?”

But honestly speaking, I feel that there are people who just take advantage of my present condition. Sometimes, it just can’t be helped. Though I know the difference of doing something voluntarily and being asked/forced to do something, I sometimes end up being a “forced volunteer”. How? Live my life…you’ll see.

This is just describing how I feel. I am not complaining.

this test tells that i'm...

this test tells that i'm...

random thoughts...

I saw you, and I am definitely sure you saw me.

I tried to connect to you, but I was taken aback by your cold stare.

I never walked away from you, much more leave you.

I never left you.

But maybe my absence makes you feel left behind.

I’m sorry, but please understand…I tried…

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I understand that it is wise at some time that you’ll be praised by what you do.

Just take into mind that maybe…I say maybe,

That you’ll serve for the sake of it alone.

Just like them.

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I learned from Confucius that one must do what he is supposed to do.

If a carpenter, do carpentry.

If a teacher, teach.

If a doctor, heal the sick.

Though this does not stop one from doing other things,

Doing other things is far different than hoarding them all,

Even those not one is supposed to do.

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I have been disillusioned with the fact that we can never be what we used to be.

After seeing you and being with you for a while,

I’ve been struck with that sad fact.

Can we be better? Or just let ourselves fall to ruin?

I thought making you do things on your own would make you happy, making you find your own life…since you’re growing

But when I’m trying to come back, why push me away?

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A BELATED POST

A few days back, my girlfriend and I are into our 1 year and 1 month being together. And just yesterday, my Ate Paloy (from the States) congratulated me for that wonderful feat. She was telling me that I sure was blessed, more than lucky, for having such a girlfriend as her. Thanks Ate…I just hope you’re here to know her.

I owe the success of our relationship (so far) more to her, and I never fail to see that she’s doing everything that she can for us. Honestly, I am acting like a jerk at many times, but she’s always there to knock some sense out of me (which is good, thanks baby).

I love her so much! :*

(Well, that one may be short, she knows the rest…and that’s what matters)

RANDOM THOUGHTS

It has been again quite some time since I had the change to write (or type) my thoughts here. I owe it to the fact that I was somehow busy minding about what’s going to happen a few months from now…the moment of truth for philosophy students, that is. I was busy preparing my reviewers and everything related to it, that I never had the chance to sit and think about everything that’s happening in me, outside of me, and everything in between.

At the start of the school year, I decided to move out from the dormitory where I used to live for two years, for reasons that are most unpractical for me. Though I moved to a place a little far from the school, I enjoy those afternoon walks going back there and having little chances for exercise.

I somehow pity myself that I a left now with only 6 units to complete (minus the thesis), but that would be all taken care of in due time. There is one thing that I am sure of; I’m going to graduate this school year, no matter what.
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I just realized more that no matter how hard I try to talk to people and suggest on how they carry on with their problems, all I can do is such. As its term suggest means, that’s all that I can do. I may be able to influence people, but that is all that there is to it. They still have the decision all for themselves.

I am not saying that I want to control their lives. There are just times that I believe that I know what’s best, and I’m trying to prevent whatever bad that may come…I am just concerned. I am so fed up in seeing people close to my heart getting hurt over and over again. If I could just take it all in myself…I would gladly do so.

I never really believed in superstitions, but one struck me. Our house-helper noticed a mole on my shoulder, and told me, “Kawawa ka naman kuya, pasan mo ang mundo”. Maybe I do…

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I’ve always tried to look at the positive points in life that is in front of me. But I do not disillusion myself to the point that I choose not to see the rest. I am honestly getting myself in the line of hurt for many times so that I could prevent others from feeling it as well. Maybe I have this talent of seeing all possible consequences of me and other’s decisions, and I try to decide on all of them before they even come. I try to keep a smiling face and a happy attitude in front of others so that they won’t feel pity for me.

In this short life of mine, I just want people to remember me as someone who, “loves not much but well”.

Losing “Friends”

“Hindi ako manhid at hindi rin ako tanga para hindi ko maramdaman and nangyayaring sa paligid ko“.

I never had the luxury of friends, I know. Ever since I was a kid, I just had a handful, and this handful even fades away, one after the other. Yes, I have a lot of friends, in its general term. However, for those people who remain true to what a friend really is…they’re just a few.

From my former home in Muntinlupa, the only people I can really call friends until now are not more than equivalent to all the number of the fingers in my hands.

From my former companions in the seminary, where I spent 7 years of my life, almost everyone completely forgot that I exist.

From my friends at my religious community, do they still remember me?

And from where I am now, can someone please tell me?

I can’t blame them. And I choose not to. Maybe it’s my fault too. Or rather, I believe that it’s partly my fault why I’m losing them. But I won’t admit to such nonsense that spoke of that I’m pushing people away.

I find it weird that I have a lot of friends in sites such as Friendster or Multiply. But are they, really, my friends? Maybe, some of them were…How about right now?

Questions in my head, some of them, popped out like: “Is it because that I’m not with you anymore, that you treat me like a stranger?” or “Is it because that we had crossed each other out that we’re both not open to mend?” But one of the things that I am asking myself right now is, “Do they really see me as a friend, or someone/something else?”

I try to reach out as best as I can, but right now, I am hesitating if what I’m doing still has of any worth. I want, and try, to connect once more to the people that I had been with, to be a friend once more to them.

I cannot stand alone. And I choose not to.

This may be my weakness, but I accept it.

Before, That Day, and on the Same Day

What Came Before…

Before I share almost everything that transpired during my birthday, here’s what happened a few days before:

May 16-17: Almost all members of the family, minus my brother, went to Laguna (my father’s province) to celebrate my grandmother’s 90^th birthday. My father, along with some other relatives, made this as a surprise to our grandmother. When we arrived, I was surprised that someone from the extended family made a tarpaulin of my grandmother (actually, just her face) with a younger body, set in a beach (wow! my grandmother in a bikini? my deceased grandfather might wake up from the dead and dress her upJ) Anyway, only about half of the whole clan came, considering it was a Friday, but the party was great. I was tasked to take the video of the whole thing, much to the enjoyment of one of my cousins who wants me to take a picture of her with the town’s parish priest (what?! anyway, just let it be )

After the celebration ended around 9 in the evening, it was time for some fun for the big boys. There were two groups: the “old” and the “not so old”. I joined the latter and started drinking and singing (with the videoke) the night away. We ended at around 2 in the morning of the next day, with me still sober and wanting more. Anyways, with everyone asleep, there’s no fun in it. My family left Laguna for home before lunchtime.

May 17-18: We arrived a little before 1 in the afternoon and took our lunch at home. After we had rested for about two hours, we left again for Batangas. This is to remember my grandfather in my mother side’s passing away a year ago. Nothing much happened the night we arrived there, but it was sure crowded the next day, especially since my relatives also decided to have a reunion of their clan at the same time. Of course, I was still given the task to be the videographer of all that happened there. We left before dinner and arrived home at around 9 in the evening.

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My Birthday, as well as…

May 19: I woke up early in the morning, though I slept late the night before (my girlfriend was the first one to greet me for this special day at around 12 midnight…THANKS BABY!) Anyway, considering that it was Monday, I decided to have a little celebration at dinnertime, when everyone’s home already. My sister is going to work, while my parents went on leave from work to rest….A little fast-forward to 3 in the afternoon (why? you’ll know), I came back home and rested for a while, then ordered pancit palabok for dinnertime. I thought there would be no cake but we ended up with two for the night: one was from my mother, and the other came from my sister’s boyfriend (thank you…thank you). I was quite sad that my girlfriend was not there for dinner (why again? you’ll know…read on). It was a simple dinner with the family, but I believe it quite catches up to the definition of celebration. I want to thank everyone who remembered me on my birthday. I know I don’t have the luxury of friends, but I know that I have those who are up to the real meaning of a friend.

Here’s a quick rundown of everyone (besides my family) who greeted me on my birthday, in order (as a sign of gratitude):

Through text message:

My Baby Joan (my girlfriend…the one and only)

Cybill (a very good friend way back elementary)

Lalaine (childhood friend, schoolmate back in elementary)

Ate Shadow (My Baby Joan’s sister-in-law)

Ate Irma (my cousin from Laguna)

Ate Ivy (my cousin from Batangas)

Angeline (also a very good friend way back elementary)

Patricia/ Trixie (a very good friend in the youth ministry)

Coycoy (another cousin from Laguna)

Ate Rhoda (still my cousin from Laguna)

Alfred (my best buddy from Muntinlupa, also a schoolmate from elementary)

Tita Shirley (my tita from Batangas)

Jenny (good friend from the youth ministry)

Fatima (my friend from Batangas)

Through the Internet (Friendster, Multiply, YM):

Aldin (my former classmate from the seminary)

Ate May (my cousin from Laguna)

Yahweh (my classmate from elementary)

Bro. Jomar (my friend from Don Bosco)

Sr. Gener (my former superior in the Student Council)

Naiza (my buddy and former boss in the Student Council)

D.A. and Vic (friends from the youth ministry)

Ate Jaisa (my ate in the youth ministry)

Again, thanks a lot guys and gals for remembering…and making it more special for me. My prayers for all of you.

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Me and My Girlfriend’s First Anniversary

The same day, May 19: Considering that my girlfriend would be having her finals the next day, she made and I accepted her decision not to come at my house for dinner with the family. She needs to study, I know. Anyway, with my birthday comes our first year anniversary. Still, I thank the Lord for making us strong and faithful to each other for all this time. We both pray for everything that we need to have successful individual and shared lives.

I was touched most by how she shared even a little time of that day for me. She asked me if we can go out for a while to celebrate. I accepted her suggestion, and we went to SM Southmall. She was with me when I bought a present to myself (a laptop backpack). She was somehow sorry that she wasn’t able to give me something, but I told her that everything’s fine…her presence and ever-growing love for me was more than enough. We window-shopped to look for shoes that she would buy the next time we go there, and ate lunch at Tokyo Tokyo. We also had fun with arcades at Tom’s World (our favorite pastime at Southmall) and came back home a little before 2 in the afternoon. I stayed there for a while. Before I left, my girlfriend handed over an envelope to me, and read the letter inside it on the way home. Yes, we still write letters to each other. With that, I can say that that letter completed my day…even before it actually ended.

To my dearest girlfriend, Joan:

A year had passed since the moment we came to be closer and more intimate with each other…and I am looking forward to spending and living my life with you. Whatever happens…happens. As long as we’re together, I think everything’s going to be fine. We may have problems along the way, but we’ll manage. I may have said so many things, but this, I hope you’ll always feel and remember: I LOVE YOU. How much? How long? Just let me prove it to you.

just a simple realization...

for a certain event in my life, i saw that...

when i left, i was forgotten and left behind
seems like everyone forgot about me, or chose to do so
thus, i realized that there is nothing to come back to...

if you only know the reason behind
you may see that there is more than what meets the eye
much more, your eyes in what you're seeing...right now