Me and My Girlfriend :)

As of this moment, I am with my girlfriend for 1 year, 9 months, 20 days and counting. And I cannot wait until we reach our 2nd year anniversary…much more when that time comes when I can say that we are together for life.

Somehow, at the onset, this year’s haven’t been good to our relationship, due to many factors of which I would be depressed if still remembered. If it is possible to erase it in our history, I would gladly take that. But the fact remains that it won’t happen, and the best thing to do to those “dark moments” is mold them to something where both of us can learn. I give my girlfriend the credit for this one for two reasons: she has more maturity in dealing with this kind of relationship, and she is the one who in spite of anything and everything, continues to stay strong for us.

Actually, I cannot blame the time or the circumstance; I could just point at my actions and reactions which led to the unpleasant things that occurred in our relationship. Pointing fingers or playing the blame game isn’t part of my attitude. I cannot even blame her, why should I?

I can remember the time when I posted here some of the thoughts that I came up with regarding relationships. I can also remember that I mentioned in the last line that those thoughts remain as such unless lived. I tried to live those thoughts, some of them proved to be true in certain percentages, and some others still need to be reviewed and revised.

Going back, there were a lot of realizations that happened as my girlfriend and I go through our lives, as individual persons, and as a couple. Sometimes, I’m at fault of not knowing where the line is drawn. I admit that at times, I over-exaggerate, argue at almost everything and even shut my mind in what I want to think. She may not tell me, but I realize that there are times that both of us tend to hurt one another without both of us knowing. Still, I hold on to the thought that “success and failure of our relationship cannot be attributed to just one or the other, but on us both”. Since we’re still together, growing stronger and more faithful to one another…we’re still doing the right thing, in spite of all the rough edges that we had or have at this point

From the moment we first met back at 2005 until now, I won’t ask for anything to be changed, even if I’m given a chance to. Yes, things may have been better or more colorful, but I am more thankful at the fact that, through thick and thin, through the ups and downs that both of us shared…we continue to let each other know and feel that we are loved. Everything else follows.

I can continue on relating things about us, but let me stop for the meantime…
The truth remains: I love her so much, and she knows the rest :)

Blessings in my Academic Life

After the Foundation Week in our school, I decided to park my pen (or my typing fingers) for some time to focus in studying for both my undergraduate thesis and my comprehensive examination in Philosophy, dubbed as the “De Universa”.

I’ve been studying for the comprehensive examination ever since the start of the school year, however, the things that I’ve studied vanish from my mind after some time. With that situation, I start from the beginning once more. I’ve got seven philosophical treatises to familiarize (if not memorize) myself with (Critics, Metaphysics, Theodicy, Cosmology, Rational Psychology, General and Special Ethics); not counting the philosophy history subjects (Ancient, Medieval, Modern and Contemporary) and the electives (Political and Filipino Philosophy). Honestly, I am not an intellectual student who always got straight A’s or flat 1’s in the transcript…I have good grades with some, if not all, subjects; and that’s the point! Considering also that I am just a transferee student in my present school, I need to make a lot of adjustments. But, with how everything’s looking at this point, I think and believe that everything’s worth it.

Last February 27, we had our first part of the “De Universa”: the written examinations. Bro. Erik, our Pakistani classmate (through votes), picked the treatise from which the written examinations will focus. He picked Rational Psychology. Unfortunately for me, during exam day, I was overtaken by fear and panic…I know (even if I still don’t know the results) that I fell short of what I should have been able to accomplish. After I left the examination room, there was nothing but sorrow in my mind. I thought, “if this is what happened to me during the written exams, how worse will it be for the oral exams?!” I panicked some more.

A week before the oral examinations, I resigned myself to concentrate on the preparations (that is, after talking and seeking advice from those who I know I can trust, especially my girlfriend). They’re right, whatever happened in the past remains at the past, and I have to focus on the present. Though there’s still fear in me, I tried to give more time thinking about what to do and how to deal with the situation when the time comes for me to face the panel, present the theses that I picked, and as our prayer goes, present myself “with thoroughness and charm”.

March 6, the day of the oral examinations came. The examinations began with the sad news that one of our classmates decided to withdraw from the exams, the reason of which is personal (and I respect it). Thus, we were left with 4 examinees, in the following order: Bro. Jomar, Bro. Erik, Eric (a diocesan seminarian), and lastly, me. As some of us waited for our turn, Fr. Rey Dela Cruz (the Rector of the Salesian Post-novitiate community), gave us some words of advice, one of which was “It’s not our problem what our grades will be, it will be at the panel’s shoulders whether they’ll make us pass, or retake”. The other was this, as I remember it: “There were three people who thought of the idea of struggle. The first said that ‘I struggled, and I won’. The second said that ‘I struggled, I failed, but I stood up and won’. The last one said that ‘I struggled and I continue to struggle’.” He then asked me, who am I among the three. I said, “the answer would come after I finished my turn for the exams”.

My turn came at last at around 11:00 in the morning. As I picked my theses to present, I was silently praying to God to help me. My prayers were answered that time when I picked Thesis 1 of Cosmology: On the Essence of Quantity, and Thesis 7 of Special Ethics: On the Duties of Man towards God. The presentation came, and though I was not able to answer the entire panel’s questions (consisting of Fr. Mike, SDB, Fr. Joel, SDB and Fr. Paul, SDB) at me after the presentation, I was satisfied enough that I was able to overcome my trauma. Pass or retake, it doesn’t matter…I know that whatever the results may be, I know I was a winner. And after the results came, I was affirmed that I am a winner. I was graded 6.5…Probatus…and that means I passed!

With regards my thesis, I was given the suggestion by Fr. Joel, SDB, to work on the philosopher John Rawls, who just died in 2002. He gave me a chance to explore a whole new experience in the concept of justice, and I am deeply thankful for the opportunity he gave me. As of this moment, I am making the finishing touches (and revisions) to my undergraduate thesis entitled “Justice as Fairness in the Justice Theory of John Rawls”, and hoping that this could help me further to take my steps closer to finishing my tertiary academic life.

With these blessings that I received in my academic life, I cannot help but be thankful. I am now nearer to my dream of graduating this school year…and continue on becoming a better person.

What are my plans after college?
I plan to have my Master’s Degree, and teach…I believe that this is now my calling.