How is confidence defined? I’ve browsed over the thesaurus, only to find a lot of words matching the word confidence. With all of its alternate words and different meanings, it spells one thing for me: it is something that someone has to have in order to survive the difficult thing called life.
I could honestly say that prior to my training that I really lacked confidence. There had been a lot of times that I demonstrated this fact and I also honestly believe that most of them, if not all, are not pleasant or even worthy of remembering. My lack of confidence are caused by a lot of factors, most notable among them are some certain failures and mistakes that I’ve done in the past. A certain mistake that I did in the past totally marred my personality, and for three years I’ve been trying to correct that mistake. And in doing so, a lot of things happened made me, but still…most of them broke me.
At this point, I would like to concentrate on the etymological meaning of confidence, inspired by the fruits of my labor at ExcelAsia. At first look, the word itself can be traced to two Latin words: “con” and “fide”, meaning “with” and “faith”, respectively. With these words in minds, I can say that the word confidence primarily means that which having “faith with”. Considering that confidence is something that cannot be given, I believe confidence is something that is all the more gained by the self. Placing these two thoughts together, confidence for me means “having faith with the self”.
Now faith can be something of a surrealistic term, so it may be better to simplify it. Thus, in simple terms: confidence means “believing with one’s own self”.
As I’ve said somewhere in the beginning of this thought work, I lacked confidence in the past. I did not say that I do not have confidence; rather, I lacked confidence. I prefer being behind the shadows rather than be in the limelight, I prefer working with groups rather than stand out and be the best that I can be. I easily succumb to pressure from friends and criticisms of the crowd. And there’s still a lot more. Having the experience of being born to an environment where comparisons between siblings have been a major issue did not help in boosting my confidence even by a bit. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I left home at an early age. But the place where I had hoped to boost my confidence became the total opposite of it.
With my experiences in the past, I can somehow relate my lack of confidence to mediocrity…of just being “in the middle” of everything. But my sense of safety in the arms of mediocrity changed, all thanks to the training that I had in ExcelAsia.
Who would have thought that two simple instructions could help me begin the change from mediocrity to excellence? Roanna (our trainer) reminded us constantly to 1) SPEAK ENGLISH, and to speak 2) LOUDER. And from there, she related a lot of things from how she started just like any one of us, to the person that she is now. Honestly, on a personal note (and I believe my co-trainees would agree to me as well), I’ve never met someone with so much joy and passion with what she’s doing. Her simple encouragements and positive criticisms during the training had always been a breath of fresh air for all of us. I know she never gave us the confidence that she has. Rather, she is instrumental for each and every one of us finding our own confidence. With her stories and instructions that she enthusiastically shared with us, we found the strength to find our own stories to tell, and our own knowledge and insights to keep.
The other trainers who had been with us for the duration of our training had also been instrumental in helping us finding our way for excellence. Going back on a personal note, Noel for example unconsciously encouraged me (by his character and attitude), to speak up and always put my best foot forward. Camille, on the other hand, exuded simplicity and style by means of her words and actions. Al and Wene inspired me to deal with contradictions in my personality and attitude. Kat, for her part (as she was with us for one session), reminded me that there is so much more than what meets the eye.
My co-trainees also had their share of help with me finding me in me. As every person is bound for confidence and excellence, my daily encounters with them helped me to realize that people don’t actually desire for the pretender in me, but for the real me. And if I’m going to survive the crazy world of work, I have to believe in myself, put my best foot forward, and always remind myself that even if others would expect things about me, as long as I do my best in the best way that I can (another thing that I learned from the training…reserved for another time), I would succeed.
All I can say now, I’m more confident than before to face the world of work, and life itself.
I could honestly say that prior to my training that I really lacked confidence. There had been a lot of times that I demonstrated this fact and I also honestly believe that most of them, if not all, are not pleasant or even worthy of remembering. My lack of confidence are caused by a lot of factors, most notable among them are some certain failures and mistakes that I’ve done in the past. A certain mistake that I did in the past totally marred my personality, and for three years I’ve been trying to correct that mistake. And in doing so, a lot of things happened made me, but still…most of them broke me.
At this point, I would like to concentrate on the etymological meaning of confidence, inspired by the fruits of my labor at ExcelAsia. At first look, the word itself can be traced to two Latin words: “con” and “fide”, meaning “with” and “faith”, respectively. With these words in minds, I can say that the word confidence primarily means that which having “faith with”. Considering that confidence is something that cannot be given, I believe confidence is something that is all the more gained by the self. Placing these two thoughts together, confidence for me means “having faith with the self”.
Now faith can be something of a surrealistic term, so it may be better to simplify it. Thus, in simple terms: confidence means “believing with one’s own self”.
As I’ve said somewhere in the beginning of this thought work, I lacked confidence in the past. I did not say that I do not have confidence; rather, I lacked confidence. I prefer being behind the shadows rather than be in the limelight, I prefer working with groups rather than stand out and be the best that I can be. I easily succumb to pressure from friends and criticisms of the crowd. And there’s still a lot more. Having the experience of being born to an environment where comparisons between siblings have been a major issue did not help in boosting my confidence even by a bit. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I left home at an early age. But the place where I had hoped to boost my confidence became the total opposite of it.
With my experiences in the past, I can somehow relate my lack of confidence to mediocrity…of just being “in the middle” of everything. But my sense of safety in the arms of mediocrity changed, all thanks to the training that I had in ExcelAsia.
Who would have thought that two simple instructions could help me begin the change from mediocrity to excellence? Roanna (our trainer) reminded us constantly to 1) SPEAK ENGLISH, and to speak 2) LOUDER. And from there, she related a lot of things from how she started just like any one of us, to the person that she is now. Honestly, on a personal note (and I believe my co-trainees would agree to me as well), I’ve never met someone with so much joy and passion with what she’s doing. Her simple encouragements and positive criticisms during the training had always been a breath of fresh air for all of us. I know she never gave us the confidence that she has. Rather, she is instrumental for each and every one of us finding our own confidence. With her stories and instructions that she enthusiastically shared with us, we found the strength to find our own stories to tell, and our own knowledge and insights to keep.
The other trainers who had been with us for the duration of our training had also been instrumental in helping us finding our way for excellence. Going back on a personal note, Noel for example unconsciously encouraged me (by his character and attitude), to speak up and always put my best foot forward. Camille, on the other hand, exuded simplicity and style by means of her words and actions. Al and Wene inspired me to deal with contradictions in my personality and attitude. Kat, for her part (as she was with us for one session), reminded me that there is so much more than what meets the eye.
My co-trainees also had their share of help with me finding me in me. As every person is bound for confidence and excellence, my daily encounters with them helped me to realize that people don’t actually desire for the pretender in me, but for the real me. And if I’m going to survive the crazy world of work, I have to believe in myself, put my best foot forward, and always remind myself that even if others would expect things about me, as long as I do my best in the best way that I can (another thing that I learned from the training…reserved for another time), I would succeed.
All I can say now, I’m more confident than before to face the world of work, and life itself.
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