scrambles

Epilogue of Dark Days

I decided to stop. Why? Personal reasons, maybe…

I just thought that it’s not healthy anymore what is happening (either real or perceived as such) due to actions and reactions with whatever my blogposts and others have caused either me or them. Thanks to a classmate of mine here in my school, who is an avid reader of my blog, I came to my senses of the effects that some of my blogs are causing.

I dare not judge other people’s blogs for this time. Actually, I have not and I decided that I will not. If my blogposts have created ill-feelings and ill-treatment to some or many, I apologize. I, and not this blog, am at fault. Honestly, some of these posted are negative (as some of the readers can already testify), and I am guilty as charged. This is an effect brought about my negativity coming from the subject of this blog, who is me. I had enough of negativity flowing in me, and sadly, sharing it with others.

This is not an act of cowardice. Nor this can be seen as an act of surrendering. What am I supposed to be coward of? What am I suppose to surrender to? I just felt, as well as decided, that this must stop. But that doesn’t guarantee, that everything will be in its usual place…it can never be.

With this, I end with…PEACE.

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Being Away

I had been studying here in Don Bosco College-Canlubang for almost a year and a half now, and sadly, I will not able to graduate this coming school year. Having the details for that is not the subject of this blog, so let me just have it in another time.

Going back, there are times that I had been asking myself: “Why am I still like this? Why am I still sulking over the fact that I am far away from home?” Most of the people who know me also know that I had left home for the seminary after I graduated from elementary, and stayed there until the middle of the semester of my 7^th year (or third year college) in the formation. After that, I decided to study here in Laguna, when I had the opportunity to continue my studies.

I know…being away sucks. Though I had the hang of not being at home most of the time, this time is a lot different from before. Honestly, in the past, I did not have the chance to be close to my family. Now, it’s different. How much have I lost! And to think that it is the only concern I had, is wrong. I just realized lately that I had not known myself wholly as well! Too bad…

And also, I am sad over the fact that each and every time I have to leave for school; I leave someone special…behind. That is why I always look forward to coming home at the end of the school week…

Being away is hard…but I can still struggle and cope with it…I hope you do too.