Sunday, July 27, 2008

After the Storm…

From that misunderstanding that my girlfriend and I had, I was able to realize a lot of things:

  1. There is still a lot to learn from one another. Though we are already a year and a couple of months together now, there is still a lot to learn. There are still a lot of misunderstandings to face, conflicts to solve, and differences to be aware of. I admit that I thought I already know my girlfriend fully, so much so that I most of the time try to predict what she’s thinking, and then end up wrong. With that, we end up having little quarrels, which then turn into bigger ones…which then deal more damage to our relationship.
  2. There has to be room for understanding, especially coming from me. I am guilty of trying to rationalize anything and everything, so much so that I do not believe in anything happening having no reason at all. Sometimes, I think I just have to believe in her more, more than I used to. I also have to understand that both she and I have a lot of difference at this point in time, especially when academics is the topic. I have to understand that she needs more time now with everything’s she’s doing at school, even though that would mean that our time together would be sacrificed. If until now, I would not be able to understand and accept that, then maybe there is really something big and wrong about me.
  3. There has to be more acceptances of circumstances, also especially coming from me. I have to accept the fact that we are not the same, and I have to deal with that difference. Why does it have to come to this that I came to realize that our relationship is more of dynamic (changing) than static (status quo)? That dynamicity of our relationship, if not steered well, may turn into something disastrous, for us (like what almost happened with us now). I need to understand, more than knowing, that the fact that we’re different and that our relationship’s changing, that I need to get out of my shell and be more accepting of everything that would come in our way. if I cannot do that, then there’s got to be something really wrong about me.
  4. I have to quit being a wisecrack and over-acting in the circumstances where I am not needed to be as such. Just last night, after we had another quarrel, I asked myself “Why is it so hard for me to accept things as it is?” She told me the reasons why she was unable to connect or contact me last Wednesday, but I realized that it is me who found it so hard to just accept (then over-react) to what she said. It’s not that I did not believe her, but it’s just that I saw that there was a chance to do it, but it wasn’t done. She was looking at more important things, and this has to happen just for me to understand that. I feel sorry for myself. Much more, I am in constant asking for apology with my girlfriend.

Baby, I am really sorry.

By this moment, we’re now okay…We sure hope and pray it would always stay this way.

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